iOS Game Guide #2
If you are anything like me, a broke teen that stares at LCD screens all day. Well it means that at some time you will have found the huge plethora of apps in the Apple app-store very daunting, probably you’ve already spent whole hours panicking through its aisles not knowing where the “good stuff” is located. This is why I have decided with my infinite experience to start a Weekly iOS Game Guide that will help you on your next trip to the app-store.
It’s very simple so don’t worry, there’s only two things you need to remember:
TRY or DIE
I thought today we would begin with something that would to appeal every testosterone overloaded male, a game called Gears & Guts. It combines 2 things that all us stereotypical males love; cars and violence.
The only thing missing is gratuitous boobies which would make the game a veritable must-have for all us red-blooded, roaring, manly males. The game itself is very entertaining and the graphics are nice. The actual goal of slaughtering hordes of zombies is challenging yet simple, you can even pimp your ride with a wide selection of brutal weapons for added carnage. There are plenty of levels to have you playing for quite a bit and unless you’re a girl, you can’t go wrong.
Next up, continuing with our zombie motif is Dead Trigger; which in my opinion is a pretty damn awesome game. The task is simple, get sweeping the streets free of zombies that were created by a gas released by the government when we have finally rebelled and got on their last nerve.
Anyway, Dead Trigger sees you battling with your weapon of choice for survival and for the rest of humanity as a city full of zombies attempt to remove your brain and feast upon it. Visually, this game rocks, the zombies glowing eyes in the darkness are genuinely spooky and handy for headshots. The levels ease you into gameplay very well but they offer no replay value but they’re pretty fun. The controls are at times difficult to manage as the game gets confused about whether you want to move or aim, yet my favorite touch this game has to offer is that the zombies’ limbs are removable. Yes this does mean if you take out a leg or two they will still crawl their way to you, and if you shoot them enough in the body they will explode like a gory ostrich egg in a microwave.
Up next we have Minecraft: Lite, a game that is very well known to pretty much all pc gamers as one of the most creative games of the last few years. For it allows you to combine materials and build almost anything you’d like, a tiny bit like Little Big Planet but in first-person 3D with only a few pixels of resolution, but an almost infinite map.
Minecraft: Lite itself is split into two games; the survival side with bad guys and the creative side which allows you to fly. If you can imagine the PC version but worse, then you’ll understand what we have here. Yes the graphics are the same but that’s about it; the map is nowhere near infinite, you cannot combine materials and all there is to do is stack blocks and kill bad guys.
The worse thing about this game is that you cannot save your progress, a basic feature that turns this game from having potential, to a waste of time. Why bother when it prevents you from doing that which all minecrafters love, building an impenetrable and intricate fort and laughing at your enemies vain attempt to break trough. As a free app Minecraft: Lite disappoints, but as advertising and a taster to the real deal it manages to tempt and intrigue, although it does give credence to my personal theory that any “Lite” version of a game is crap no matter how good the real deal is.
Moving on we have Riptide GP which is a very fun little racing game that sees you racing on a jet ski across various twisting tracks set in futuristic cities. If you feel like it you can even pull off epic stunts while in the air to earn boosts.
The visuals in this game are fantastic and incredibly slick (not to mention very similar to WipeOut), you control your jet-ski by tilting your iDevice which makes for some very pleasant handling to go along with the superb in-game physics. In the game you are also able to unlock many types of jet-skies and play through each track on three difficulties which makes for a large amount of replay value. So for nothing this in an incredible deal that cannot be missed by all you racing fans!
Last and least we have The Heist, a puzzle game that sells itself as an exciting game where you attempt to rob a vault, although for some reason to turn off each security feature you must finish a series of puzzles. In the beginning this game intrigued me because it simulated a real phone call and got me very excited for some stealthy action, maybe even a bit of espionage. Then I ended up having to play five minutes of Sudoku with symbols instead of numbers in order to turn off some pressure pads in the ground.
The saddest thing is about this game is that they marketed it as something very exciting with the bank robbery vibe, but it looks as if they were just trying to show that Sudoku can be cool. Frankly if any treasure is guarded by brain training puzzles from the back of a woman’s weekly magazine you can keep it!
Thanks for reading another installment of the Weekly iOS Game Guide