The Weekly iOS Game Guide
If you are anything like me, a broke teen that stares at LCD screens all day. Well it means that at some time you will have found the huge plethora of apps in the Apple app-store very daunting, probably you’ve already spent whole hours panicking through its aisles not knowing where the “good stuff” is located. This is why I have decided with my infinite experience to start a Weekly iOS Game Guide that will help you on your next trip to the app-store.
It’s very simple so don’t worry, there’s only two things you need to remember:
TRY or DIE
Rating: DIE
First up is Stickman Games: Summer Edition, now the Stickman games are known for their simplicity but this game takes it a bit too far and has you making and beating your own personal scores at 12 Olympic sports. This earns you money you can use to buy new clothes for you character. Although the game shows some promise given that the world is in Olympic fever right now, It can’t help feeling completely pointless and unrewarding.
Rating: DIE
Minecart Chase is a slightly amusing little app that has you playing an Indiana Jones-esque character trying to escape from a Nazi soldier. This is a parody of another iOS app in which a certain small winged avian attempts to escapes the rapidly encroaching night-time. This game sees you manipulating your weight to negotiate your speed up and down hills. The only difference between this and the more popular aforementioned app is the presence of an upgrade system in which you can purchase upgrades with coins collected during you last attempted escape. A fun-ish game for the first 5 minutes but it is let down majorly by its sound and graphics which are much inferior to apps of the same genre. You’d be better off playing PONG, it’s one of the few games with worse graphics but it has the added bonus of being retro and therefore cool.
Rating: DIE
Here is another unnecessary version of a particular app in which you must escape from a certain old place of worship. It’s called Zombie Run and consists of you controlling a strangely blue zombie that to me looks more like a shaved anorexic Beast from the X-men, anyway you’re running from an angry mob having to react to corners and obstacles, all the while collecting potions to buy upgrades. This sounds simple and a bit boring at first glance, but just like the app it was based on, this is quite fun and surprisingly addictive. Although the graphics, textures and animation all direly need a makeover. And because I studied physics at school there’s no way I can truly like a game where the zombie’s legs do not move at a speed relative to the zombie’s velocity. Download Temple Run instead, it’s the same bloody thing and you wont be supporting these unnecessary and ridiculous spin-offs.
Rating: TRY
Offroad Legends: Warm-up. An app that is one of those ones where you simply drive from one side of the map to the other over some obstacles without destroying your vehicle. The game itself has some pretty impressive graphics and despite it being a demo app; is a lot of fun to play. The controls are simple and the game is challenging enough for me, because of this I think it would be very suitable for those bored moments on the bus or train when you try to avoid conversation with that funny smelling man who has just sat beside you.
Rating: TRY
Last but not least we have Catapult King, a game in which you have to destroy structures that were somehow constructed by a large red dragon and his rather incompetent minions. You’re armed with a giant catapult and the target is right in front of you. The app can get quickly addictive with its 3D cartoon-ish graphics, but wait, this first person catapulting action also has more to offer: Different ammo types and Magical power ups. My faves are; earth shock, which causes an earthquake, and lunar strike, which causes a torrential downfall of meteorites. Overall it’s the good replay value that really produces a superior destroy the tower type game, best of all the taste is infinitely sweetened by its price of free.
Thanks for checking out this first instalment of Weekly iOS Game Guide.
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